Memorare

+JMJ+

Ave Maria!

Day of memory. I think I have an innate desire to be a "Beat": the Beat Generation, a Kerouac Contemporary weaving through life in and out jotting experiences on paper void of punctuation because really punctuation is all about constructed boundaries that don't necessarily indicate the reality of communication. It is all construct: Relative? I don't know...

Have you ever been in that place? Here we are clearly nearly the half way point of 2009 and The Tipping Point comes to mind not because the book had any sort of effect on the relativity of my said reality but rather just for the title--but then, maybe that means it did have an effect. See. Now I use more punctuation to try to convey what I really desire to communicate.

I think I am on overload right now. My brain can't seem to fit much more and all I want to do is strip it all away and be in that place where it is ok to be little--I mean, honestly, inside I am in that place, but exteriorly I cannot access the demonstartion of littleness > > > I don't feel little

But, if Faith isn't a feeling, then that must be indicative of what I am trying to convey. Feeling is not reality. Nor is perception. Truth is indicative of reality. Why is this complicated? Because as Joe (Wynona Rider) says in the 1990s version of Little Women: "We are all hopelessly flawed."

It is all right as long as it is centered on Christ. You might be thinking--has she gone crazy? No. I am just tired, tired of this world and how complicated we make it, because of our sheer selfishness and need to be heard--why would anybody really want to bask in self-glory?

The end of another day, and nearing the end of May: the Month of Mama Mary. She got it, didn't she? She only pointed to Christ. That was all...it was that 'simple.' But, living simplicy does not imply living without compilcation--because we are in the world. Living simplicity does not mean living without suffering--because we are fallen. I think simplicity is really a fruit of interior peace, which comes through a relationship with God Himself.

Wouldn't it be fun to be famous and brilliant? To have people call you and ask your opinon--to be on stage and vie with the Bard? To pen lines quoted by the masses or to sway opinion and influence nations? Of course it would be grand, but really would it be satisfying?

We are all yearning for something so intmate, and we look everywhere for it, but while looking, we are running, running from the source, running from what will really satisfy. He is offering a love so intimate and penetrating--but only purity and simplicty can access that reality. Everthing must be stripped away. Stripped, painfully, slowly--it is excruciating, an indefinite process. But, patiently we endure.

Fiat.

Isn't that scene the Icon--She is there, the Messanger arrives and the moment occurs: the Conception of Salvation.

Can we be demi-Icons? Iconic? Revelatory? We can, but we can only through simplicity. Purity of Heart. Littleness.

Ecce Ancilla Domini.

Her little words changed the world.

Being Little

+JMJ+

Ave Maria!

What a blessing Our Lady of Fatima is--and her message is clear. Just as every apparition of Our Lady throughout the centuries, at Fatima the Virgin asked for prayer and penance for the conversion of sinners and the salvation of the world. In particular, she asked that the Rosary be prayed, every day.

There are so many mysteries that one discovers in the Spiritual Life--especially if you desire to come closer to God. It is funny, even to have that desire is such a grace. I just finished reading Dr. Kreeft's Love is Stronger than Death, which is really a philosophical argument for the necessity of death, and ultimately the Truth of Christianity. Kreeft has a phenomenal way of weaving together the thoughts and prayers of great minds like C.S. Lewis, Kierkegaard and Augustine, to paint a landscape that reveals how hopeful death really is.

Since I finished that book, I began to read Adrienne's Man Before God today...in addition to currently reading a little book called The Immaculate Way (which from what I gather is out of print, a gift from my friend Fr. Mercer), which is a collection of medications an Irish Priest compiled on living Total Consecration to Mary. What I've collectively garnered from both texts in the last couple of days amount to:

1) The absolute necessity of humility
2) The absolute hope found in our limitations

These facts are co-dependent. If we do not have humility (which is crucial to salvation) we cannot even begin to recognize our limitations and take that step beyond to acknowledge the hope within our inadequacy. Only the truly humble person can allow the truth of Christ to color the fact of limitation.

As Adrienne reflects on limitation, she points out that through Christ, our limitations are freed. We are gathered into Christ--the Mystical Body--and even though we are "limited", in Christ we are limitless. Even our desire to praise and honor God, which cannot be perfectly accomplished in our human state, can be rendered sufficient and a great delight to God when we offer that desire fully to him. Just as St. Maximilian said, "God is pleased with our desire to please Him."

What it truly boils down to is that we must be humble to acknowledge we can do nothing without God. But if we are with God, if we make that choice to align our will with His will--then whom shall we fear? What shall we fear? As St. Paul said, "In my weakness, He is strong."

Recall what St. Alphonsus said, that one ought not spend more time in Spiritual Reading daily than one spends in prayer. What a challenge! We must make that commitment to spend time with God every day--quality time! I am convinced that if we took our relationship with God seriously--not just going through the motions--all else would fall into place.

Frankly, life is not that complicated, we make it complicated when we attempt to make God conform to our will. I am not trying to negate the struggle, but simply stated: if our desire is to follow God's will, as St. Paul says, "Your grace is sufficient for me." We need nothing more.

As our advocate and mediatrix, may Mama Mary lead us closer to her Son, closer to Heaven. Let us humbly turn toward the Lord and acknowledge the blessing our limitations are...for in our weakness, truly He is strong. As He gathers us into Himself, may we shine His light upon the world, in union with and imitation of His Immaculate Mother, Mary!

Agape

+JMJ+

"You come to me and unite Yourself intimately to me under the form of nourishment. Your Blood now runs in mine, Your Soul, Incarnate God, compenetrates mine, giving courage and support. What miracles! Who would have ever imagined such!"

~ St. Maximilian Maria Kolbe

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Lost...how can you not become lost is such thoughts? The mundane competes for our attention, our desires, our routine--and yet we were made for the mystical!

How can we be mystics, right here and now? Does it not require humility? Surely! Imagine the example we have from Jesus Himself--did He not remain with us, in the most humble, the most vulnerable form? Is not the Eucharist the SUMMIT of littleness?

Truly, has there ever been a time in human history when, in the myth of a 'god' you would find such bending low? And, here we have Jesus Christ, true God and true man...desiring, yearning to be intimately a part of us! What a wonder.

I cannot even pretend to scratch the surface of this reality, which we take for granted nearly every time we approach the alter of Divine Love. How many days have I walked through the doors of my building and not headed directly for the Chapel, to pay a visit to my Beloved Jesus, prisoner of Love in the Tabernacle! Should I go another day in such a neglectful pattern?!

I have this image of St. Francis, upon which the stigmata he received as a mystical gift is pronounced...and the only other thing in the image is the Bible he carried. St. Francis understood what it meant to cling to the Word of God...and his life was centered on the Word--Christ Himself! What a blessing...for that is truly a mark of the mystical life.

St. Maximilian stated that "My aim is to institute perpetual adoration...the most important activity." Yes, of course! And how often have I considered it a burden to make the time for Jesus? How often have I put off spending time, in the silence, with Jesus?

Man cannot be fully alive without Christ! Why is it that we deny ourselves this Baptismal right? Why do we deny ourselves intimacy with Him? Just as a man and wife intimately yearn to be one flesh, so too does Christ yearn to be one with us...to flow through our veins, penetrating our innermost being, and radiating through us out to all the world. Can't I just stop long enough to understand that? Wouldn't that reality prevent me from wasting so much time looking anywhere else?

Oh my Beloved, that I might have eyes only for You, a heart only for You...that I might reach out to others only through You...that I may attract others only to You...that I might become nothing, and only You remain.

Post # 250

+JMJ+

Ave Maria!

Blessed Feast of St. Louise Marie de Montforte...and St. Gianna! What a day. In honor of my dear friends in Heaven, I just ordered a 100% upgrade for my MacBook Pro--super excited to finally have Leopard, iLife '09 and iWork '09. I'll need to spend some serious time getting familiar with the new OS: really want to make the most out of it for the New Evangelization!

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The world continues to become more dramatic. I've been immersing myself in Kreeft and Von Speyr (well, Speyr is not surprise, at least). I want to read more Pensee, for some reason...it is maybe the vingette style that attracts me. And then, I am craving Newman and Papa John Paul sprinkled with a little Edith Stein. I feel like I just need a vacation with all my theologian friends!

Curious how a book can set your heart on fire. I was pondering that earlier today as I read "Love is Stronger than Death" by Kreeft. It isn't so much that the book sets my heart on fire: rather, the truth that is revealed by the words! It directs me to Christ.

I've been witnessing some intense horrors lately--particularly the affects of choice...more specifically, the affects of bad choices. The brokeness compounds upon itself. There seems no way to stop the burn, to stop the pain...and I see people pour more salt on their open wounds. They can't stop. They just can't heal.

But healing is a choice, too, isn't it? You have to take that first step. I think about how John XXIII, when asked why he called Vatican II, resonded something to the effect of: "I was looking for another St. Francis...since I couldn't find one, I called a counsel."

I've probably said it before, but the world truly needs another St. Francis...the world needs the Franciscan Spirit. We are celebrating 800 years for the Rule of Francis. Why has it prevailed? Surely, it is the simplicity, the authenticity of living the Gospel. Seriously: it is NOT THAT HARD. We make it hard.

I think about my own life, and realize how much I must commit, choose to cooperate in rooting out my own sinfullness. I understand more clearly how crucial purity of heart is. Think about it: we are surrounded by wounded people. Don't think trust is ever easy to gain. Injury piles upon injury--only the pure of heart can reflect Christ to this wounded generation.

The time is now to take life seriously, to take your vocation seriously. I say this as much for myself as for anyone who may read this blog. We have a world that celebrates sin and misery. There is no time to wait for tomorrow to be fully who God created each of us to be. There is no time to wait. Right now we must:

+ Pray MORE
+ Fast MORE
+ Desire humility
+ Seek no honors, save those that please Christ
+ Committ fully to conform ourselves to Christ

Check out the Gospel of Matthew my friends. Right after He was Transfigured, Jesus stumbled upon a crowd...and a spirit that could only be cast out by prayer and fasting. We are over 35 years with LEGAL baby killing in the U.S. The poor are pushed aside. Sexual abuse is common, and violence escleates. The world is getting darker. If the spirit that has attacked humanity is not countered with purity, prayer and fasting...we will witness the end of Western Civilization.

Jesus Christ, through His Resurrection, has CONQUORED DEATH, PEOPLE! If you beleive that, than you must LIVE DIFFERENTLY. Don't wait until tomorrow.

Now is the time to put on Christ.

mercy.

+JMJ+

Ave Maria!

He isn't hiding. He's just there, waiting. I don't remember the first time I realized this, and the older I got, the more intruiged I was. Since I'm human, the unknown fascinates me...and the more I turned to the Mystery, the more the Mystery turned to me. I started to fall in love.

Mercy. Today is His day. The world is bleeding. When hasn't it been?

Deaf. Blind. Dumb.

All we want is love, but we refuse it right in front of us. Living in the Tabernacle, present He begs...He yearns more for us than we do for Him. His love's depth is deeper than humanly fathomable.

Divine Mercy, today, right now, in the moment. Sometimes, God smacks us with mercy. Tough Love. We shrink away. He gives us the grace to look again. Mercy. Right there, before our eyes.

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Today is the 10th Anniversary of Divine Mercy Sunday. Jesus' message to St. Maria Faustina is as real today as it was over 70 years ago when she recieved it.

Mercy is love and justice in action. Embrace it...just as He embraces you, no matter how broken you are.

Christ Our Hope

+JMJ+

Christos Anesti! What a joyous, joyous day. I had the particular grace, during the Easter Vigil, to experience an intense longing to be completely Christ's. It was a beautiful grace, I literally felt 'set apart.' Yet, accompanying that grace was the pain of anticipation. But, how glorious! Even if there is sorrow, there is joy--for they go hand in hand!

There were little miracles of grace during the Triduum, among friends and family, for which I am so grateful. Truely, every day, more and more intently, I have the desire to be an invisible instrument of Jesus' love. It is unfathomable to consider how we, so sinful, are (like Mama Mary) Living Tabernacles...and even on Good Friday, when Jesus is NOT reposed in the Holy Eucharist in our Churches, still He is reposed in the Faithful who receive Him. What a profound gift!

As I read Papa Benedict's Message for Easter, I was so joyfully struck by these words:

Ever since the dawn of Easter a new Spring of hope has filled the world; from that day forward our resurrection has begun, because Easter does not simply signal a moment in history, but the beginning of a new condition: Jesus is risen not because his memory remains alive in the hearts of his disciples, but because he himself lives in us, and in him we can already savor the joy of eternal life.

Wow! A NEW CONDITION!! Does that NOT put our privileged experience in a new light? This new condition is that we are truly Living Tabernacles. We have the opportunity, every day, to bring Jesus to the streets...to the people starving for His love!

Papa Benedict went on to say:

Christ is looking for men and women who will help him to affirm his victory using his own weapons: the weapons of justice and truth, mercy, forgiveness and love.

Don't you want to be one of those men? One of those women? I cannot think of anything in life that would be more meaningful that to proclaim Christ in...

Justice

Truth

Mercy

Forgiveness

and Love!

Don't those seem to be the five pillars of the Civilization of Love which Papa John Paul spoke about? This civilization is ultimately realized in Heaven. Yet, this civilization can be born out of our hearts, if we are in union Christ. As Papa John Paul once asked,

"Do you think there can be anything greater than to bring Jesus to people and people to Jesus?"

May that questi0n transform us, so that we may truly become those witnesses to Christ, the true Hope for which the world yearns!

Death

+JMJ+

Good Friday 2009.

The psalms and letters of Paul keep running through my head.

"He didn't deem equality with God something to be grasped at"

"He emptied Himself unto death, even death on a Cross"

"A Man of Sorrows"

Ecce Homo.

There He is, raised high on the Cross. Christ became sin for us, for the salvation of the world.

I was so taken by St. Alphonsus today, who reflected that when Christ spoke, "I thirst", He was not yearning for drink, but for OUR LOVE. Can you imagine? Christ died on the Cross, suffered the most despised death out of love for us...and He knew that many would reject that love.

What a position we are in! To have the freedom to reject Christ, to reject His love...to deny our Creator love! Imagine the suffering...and there, at the foot of the Cross, the Lady stands--the Virgin Mother. And she, in sharing with the suffering of her Son, knows that her suffering causes Him to SUFFER MORE! And yet, she cannot detach herself, she is His mother...and her mission is intimately intertwined with His. This, too, is her moment...a moment of Fiat so painful, yet so pure.

It is Consummated.

The perfect Victim, offered by Christ the High Priest...on the Alter of the Cross. And the world is never the same.